I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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