Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
