dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That accounts for only three of the penises
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
