Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
