LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
