I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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