im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
