hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
