Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
home. puking in laundry basket.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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