woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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