I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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