I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
