i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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