btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
