they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
