Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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