How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
