we have officially lost it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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