The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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