she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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