Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize