I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
