Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
