I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
