Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
