So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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