I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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