That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
