sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
plz talk dirty to me
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
