The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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