Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm at about main and main street
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
