all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I have tasted many bathrooms
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
