when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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