So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
