Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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