He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
