You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
