Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
