this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
