The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
