Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
