help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
