exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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