SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
MIDGETS
????
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize