he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
