I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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