she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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