So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
