I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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