I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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