i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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