New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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