He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You need a sexual gate keeper
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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