oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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