And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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