so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
