She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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