you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
