May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
