and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
