Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
