My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
