woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This house was built for laser tag.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
