Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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