In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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