i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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