I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
this is an emotional support booty call
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
