Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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