I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
