Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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